Picture (ficlet)
by janelorizzoli
Summary: After a bad breakup, Jane takes some time to herself to figure things out. But things don't go as planned, and she ends up in a tough emotional situation filled with drinking, drugs, and lots of sex. Meanwhile, Maura has no idea where Jane disappeared to, and decides not to wait around for her. But are either of them really happy with their decision to move on with their life?


**A/N:** _Part 1/3. Based loosely off of the song "Picture" by Kid Rock, ft. Sheryl Crow. Which is not a happy song. I just want you all to understand that this isn't going to be a fluff piece._

_Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

Jane woke up in a daze. She blinked, trying to clear her vision, but found that she couldn't. As she sat up, her vision went black for a moment, and she could feel her head pounding. Groaning, she pulled the covers off of her and sat for a moment, trying—and failing—to clear her head, and then stood up.

The hotel room was still dark even though it was after noon, due to the curtains she'd undoubtedly pulled shut the night before. Jane couldn't remember anything from the previous night, but with the stranger in her bed and the empty bottles of alcohol littering the floor of the room, she didn't have too much trouble figuring it out.

She knew hangovers were really just dehydration, and her instincts told her to drink water, not caffeine, which would actually dehydrate her more. But all she wanted in that moment was a nice cup of coffee.

Jane couldn't remember the last time she'd left that hotel room. It had been several days at this point, and she wasn't about to break the chain now. The hotel coffee was crap, but it was easier than killing herself by going out in the daylight with a hangover this bad. So Jane started to make herself a cup of coffee in the coffee-maker the hotel provided to each room.

A few minutes later, the stranger in the bed stirred, and then opened her eyes. She mumbled something, and then sat up.

"Morning Jane. Fun night, huh?"

Jane looked at her blankly. She had no clue what had happened the night before, let alone this woman's name.

"Uh… yeah. Sure. It was great." Jane's forced smile didn't reach her eyes, and she couldn't get herself to overcome this immensely empty feeling she had. Nothing had been the same since she'd left Boston. She thought getting away would help her clear her head; sort things out. But it was doing the opposite.

For the past week or so, Jane had spent her nights with random strangers in her bed, way too much alcohol, and even cocaine a few of the nights. Every morning, she felt worse and worse, knowing that her life just seemed to be going nowhere.

"What's your name again?" Jane asked, not even bothering to be gentle about her lack of memory on the subject.

"Dani," the woman said, smiling. "But you called me Maura in bed yesterday."

"Dani… right," Jane said, choosing to ignore that last statement.

"Once more before I go?" the woman asked, and even though Jane had no memory of the previous night, it wasn't hard to work out what she meant.

Shrugging, Jane pulled off the baggy t-shirt she was wearing and climbed into bed. Dani pulled off her own shirt as Jane started to move toward her.

"No," Dani said, shaking her head. "Stay there."

Dani sat up and turned toward Jane, taking her naked body in before kneeling over her. One knee on either side of Jane, she grabbed her wrists and held them above Jane's head, leaning down and kissing her softly on the lips. Jane moaned, and Dani kissed her again, then made her way down. She kissed her neck, then her collar bone, and finally found her way to Jane's breasts.

Her mouth found one of Jane's nipples, and she flicked it with her tongue, sucking lightly before moving on to the other one. Then she went back to Jane's mouth, kissing her zealously, before pushing her tongue into Jane's mouth. At first, Jane resisted a bit, but then her mouth relaxed, and the two woman kissed intensely. Jane could feel Dani's hot breath on her face, and she bit at her lips playfully.

Dani pulled away, breathing heavily as one hand released Jane's wrist and she brought it down to Jane's center. She teased her a bit before allowing one finger to enter, and as Jane's hips thrust upward, wanting more, Dani added another finger. She pushed in, allowing her whole body to move with the pulse of her fingers. Jane moaned loudly with each thrust, her hips bucking. As Jane climaxed, Dani rode the orgasm out as long as she could, and then pulled her fingers out, bringing them to her mouth and tasting them.

She smiled and then climbed off Jane, laying on her back next to her.

"I figured since you didn't remember anything from last night, I should probably give you something to remember me by."

Jane closed her eyes, smiling. "How'd you know I didn't remember?"

"Oh please. I knew."

Dani stood up and walked over to where her underwear was lying on the other side of the room. She slipped them on, and then pulled her pants up over them.

"It was nice meeting you Jane." She clasped her bra on, and then put on her shirt, buttoning it up slowly. "You have my number if you ever want to do this again sometime. Just give me a call."

"Mmm," Jane answered, at a loss for words. She was still lying in bed, facing the ceiling.

And a moment later, Dani was out the door, leaving Jane alone in her hotel room once again.

Jane closed her eyes and tried to forget the world around her. But all that kept showing up in her mind was the image of Dr. Maura Isles.

* * *

Things between them hadn't ended well. A case had come up that was way too similar to the Hoyt cases to be a coincidence, but as Jane and Frost took on the case, the complete lack of leads kept the investigation from going anywhere. Jane had become obsessed with figuring it out. And for a really long time, Maura had supported her. But when Jane stopped coming home until after midnight every single night, and started pushing everyone in her personal life away, things started to change. Jane was putting her work on this case ahead of her life with Maura, and so things between them became very tense. Finally, Maura couldn't take it anymore. She gave Jane an ultimatum. Either give up on this case, which was obviously going nowhere, or it would be the end of their relationship.

And Jane hesitated. She didn't choose work, but she took a while to make the decision. And that was enough to convince Maura that Jane didn't care about her as much as _she_ cared about Jane.

After only a couple weeks apart, Jane sees Maura with a new man in her life, and wonders how Maura could move on so quickly. Heartbroken, confused, and alone, Jane decided to take a much-needed vacation from work. She packed a few bags and left for who-knows-where. She didn't really care where she ended up. She just needed to get away, and try to find her own way to move on. Without telling anyone where she was going, Jane headed east and drove through the night.

She found herself at a hotel just outside of Albany, and got a room. Her first night there, she drove in to Albany in search of a nice lesbian bar to help distract herself from thoughts of Maura. The night had been pretty successful. Jane had gotten 7 numbers, and had found a nice, sober woman who was willing to drive her back to her hotel.

That was the first night Jane allowed a stranger in her bed.

* * *

So now, almost a week later, Jane felt more depressed than ever. This was not the lifestyle for her, and she knew it. It just wasn't the kind of person she is. She missed Boston, and the BPD, and her partner, Frost. She missed Korsak, and Frankie, and even her Ma. But most of all, she missed Maura.

Jane opened up her purse and found the picture she'd brought with her. It was her favorite photo; one that she'd taken with Maura at their third date. They'd used one of those silly photo-booths at a stupid carnival that had come to town. Jane had won Maura a bear—one much smaller than the huge bear Giovanni had gotten her over a year before—but a bear nonetheless. And in the picture, Jane and Maura were smiling, with the bear's face between theirs.

As she was looking down at the photo, Jane felt her eyes sting as the tears came. She didn't even try to hold them off. Sometimes, a person was just in need of a good cry, and in that moment, Jane definitely needed one.

She opened up the drawer on the bed-side table and threw the photo in there, slamming it shut. She didn't want to look at it; it just hurt.

How could someone make her feel this broken? How could Jane have possibly let herself get so caught up in a relationship that she felt _this_ empty? Jane had spent her whole life trying to keep from being one of those people that cried like a baby over a bad breakup. And yet here she was, sitting in a hotel room sobbing her eyes out.

Jane sniffed and pulled out her phone. She hadn't called home in a couple of days, and she knew her Ma would be worried by now. But as she took out her phone, she noticed it said: ONE MISSED CALL - MAURA ISLES. She looked at the time stamp. 11:24pm from the night before.

Maura had probably called while Jane was fucking that stranger.

Jane swore, and punched the wall, feeling the skin break on her knuckles, which only made her cry more. How could she be such an _idiot_?

She checked to see if she had a voicemail.

She didn't.

* * *

**A/N:** _It was my first attempt at lesbian smut, so don't be too hard on me. And don't worry, this is a Rizzles ficlet, so you'll get your Jane/Maura interaction eventually. I promise. _

_Let me know what you thought? Reviews are always apprecaited, whether constructive or complimentary._

_It may be a while before I post the next two parts, because I'm leaving for camp really soon. I'll try to work on them on the car rides so I can post them as soon as I get back though. _


End file.
